


Kashit- I meant shoot (Ha, no I didn't)

by Katonica



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Domestic Avengers, Fluff, Gen, Irondad, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Peter is a Little Shit, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Precious Peter Parker, Protective Peter Parker, Sassy Peter, Steve is a bit of an ass, Steve is not getting away with anything, Tony Has Issues, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Wasn't supposed to have angst but here we are, What if Infinity War ended nice, barely any angst, spiderson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2019-06-09
Packaged: 2020-03-07 18:16:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18878599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katonica/pseuds/Katonica
Summary: Infinity War ended with Peter asking Shuri for a projector and laptops, with peculiar music blasting from the room he kept them out of."What are you doing, Pete?""I'm going to make you guys feel like ka-shooting yourselves."In the background, Tony and T'Challa could hear Shuri laugh as she heard Peter's answer and they both groaned, knowing that there it was another Gen Z reference.What the fuck,Steve thought.What the actual fuck.





	Kashit- I meant shoot (Ha, no I didn't)

**Author's Note:**

> Kahoot!
> 
> Sort of.
> 
> What if Infinity War ended all nice and they relaxed in the palace of Wakanda? 
> 
> Well, sort of relaxed, because Peter Parker apparently had planned something for them to do that required something called- Steve wasn't sure if he heard right or not, because he swears he heard Peter say something about shooting themselves.

The severed hand on the ground made Steve want to cheer, throw up, and just stare at the same time. The golden glove gleamed a bright hue as the stones seemed to shine in their own way, until different people walked up to the gauntlet, plucking one stone out after another.

The Power and Soul Stone were given to the group of aliens (and one man) that came along with Tony from the portal: A girl with antennas, a man with guns, a floating man, and a Spider-Man. The Reality and Space Stone were given to Thor, who held the two stones carefully. 

The Time Stone went back to the sorcerer, who seemed to shiver as the stone was returned to its resting place in the Eye of Augamotto and the rest of the gems given to 5 other heroes. For some odd reason, Steve was not given a stone to carry. In fact, Tony Stark was given a stone, but Steve Rogers wasn't. Steve stared at the Mind Stone in Tony's armour, shaking his head in disappointment at the rest of the heroes' lack of judgment. 

The Spider-Man wore a suit far too similar to what Steve imagined Tony would wear if Tony was a Spider-Man, limping the other side of the battlefield, his mask still on. Tony dropped everything he had, and to everyone's surprise, they watched his armour crawl  _around_ him and he flew the short distance to embrace the vigilante, who froze as Tony squeezed the boy tightly, as if he had just lost him.

Steve couldn't hear what Tony said to the boy, only the boy's exclamation of, "I thought we weren't there yet!", and Tony's choked sob of happiness.

"Shuri!" T'Challa yelled from across the battlefield, watching a young girl yell in response to the King's call, grinning happily as she pressed a kiss to his cheek in response to his hug. Happy reunions sprouted from around the battleground—minus the pained yell of Peter Quill trying to hug a green woman—and relief sprouted throughout the population.

Dust covered people's bodies, the only remainder of the terrifying army they had tried to fight before.

"We won." Steve breathed out, a feeling of relief just _flowing_ from his chest, releasing its grip on his heart, his hands still gripping the hammer tightly.

Unfortunately, his quiet victory was interrupted by the Spider-Man, who still acted like a child, saw the Princess of Wakanda, to whom Steve was headed over to.

"My god. You're Shuri.  _The Shuri._  Like, the genius Shuri-" The princess laughed at the boy's awe and placed a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to calm him, both oblivious to the Captain who was behind them.

"Yes, I'm Shuri. I've heard of you, Peter." Who was Peter? Did Steve hear the princess wrong?

It was like Spider-Man had become an ice block, rigid as could be until he heard Shuri whisper a quiet, "Yeet," as she watched Thor throw Stormbreaker around the front.

"You- Memes- That's a vine-" Spider-Man stuttered, his jaw locked open as Shuri laughed. "Does this you know kahoot-" The princess tilted her head, confused but nodded slowly. 

For some reason, every adult in the vicinity felt a cold shiver crawl up their spine, brought by the mischevious giggles of the two teenagers on the battlefield.

 

* * *

 

Peter set up the giant projector, passing the multiple laptops he had 'borrowed' from Shuri's pile of 'Ridiculous Technology Americans think they've upgraded' to the Avengers—and the Rogues.

"Alright, I set up a bonding kahoot for all of you-"

"Sorry, a what?"

Steve glanced at Tony, who was staring at Peter in perplexion, the hastily introduced intern ("This is Peter, my protegee who happens to- Be... my intern!") who was somehow allowed into the castle of Wakanda. How had this intern even made it to Wakanda? There was no way for the child just to _fly_ into Wakanda directly after the battle, and no way for the boy to even have clearance. He was clearly a child, but Steve couldn't see anything spectacularly  _special_ about the teen, like Shuri, who was obviously a technological genius. 

He grimaced in confusion as the project came to life, blasting a very cheesy tune with a number code they had to type into their screen, and later changing to a nickname. 

The first name to pop up on the projector screen was  _Natasha_ , Peter pouted exaggeratedly at the lack of creativity the spy had (to which Natasha actually  _childishly stuck her tongue out at the boy_ ) before a second and third popped up.

 _Heart Night_ and _Leg Day._ The two MIT graduates high-fived each other, grinning as they waited for the others.

 _Magic!_ and _arrow dud3_ were next, while Thor simply keyboard smashed his name,  _Thote_ which made Peter let out a choked laugh which made Steve acutely aware that he was recording, which led to a greater question: Why was he allowed to record?

 _On your left_ became Sam's nickname, making Steve scoff and _Hercules_ for Bucky, who didn't mention why he named it that.

 _Watch_ was the actual Wizard's, who sighed as his named popped on screen in resentment that he had decided to join in on the games that day. _Greatest Grandma_ popped up, and then _Original Avenger_ , the two late joining Avengers fist bumping.

 _This is stupid_ was entered by Nebula, who crossed her arms as _Rabbit_ popped up on the screen. _Leader of Wakanda_ was entered by Okoye, whose spear was propped against the wall, gleaming. _Cat_ chimed in, followed by _Dog_ and Steve heard the squeal of Shuri being shoved off the couch by her brother.

Vision was banned from the game.

Steve realized he would be next after Bruce sent in his name, _7PhDs_ , and eventually, he came up with a name to enter. _All in this Together_.

Tony narrowed his eyes at the screen, while Sam, not understanding the other meaning to it, slapped Steve in good fun, chuckling at the song reference.

Peter let out a cough, indicating them to start, and the cheesy music changed to something that sounded similar to the Jeopardy theme song that Tony had heard playing on Sam’s television more than once.

 

**First Question: The Original Avenger was?**

 

The answers were instant, startling Steve with the bubble-like noises that appeared on the screen and he realized that the answers were on the screen and he was supposed to click the boxes, frantically finding his name as the timer counted down, leaving him with a _Did you_ click  _too fast?_ in front of him, a shape morphing into others until his screen finally turned red.

He looked up at the projector as he listened to Peter and Carol cackle at the 6 people who answered correctly, and the rest (he counted 4 for his own). Someone had tried to answer Tony—but he wasn’t sure who did because almost everyone had a red screen—and looked at the leaderboard: _Original_ _Avenger_ being the first as Peter proceeded onto the next question.

Peter sighed in mock disappointment as Tony got a red screen about how Fury got his eye scratched, to which he went over to Carol and high-fived her as she threw her head back and laughed, mentioning something about a cat and too many snuggles, something Steve thought he'd never hear in a thousand years about Fury cuddling a cat.  
  
And it continued.

Red screens kept emerging, not once did everyone have a green screen at once- Wait, scratch that, everyone answered correctly that Pepper was the best person (The answers flew in after everyone read: Is Pepper Potts the boss ass bitch that would kick your ass in a heartbeat if you screwed up?)

Peter had laughed at that one, grinning happily at the results while Tony chuckled, giving the boy a noogie and then taking a photo of the board.

There was excited laughter as Wanda lost her spot on the board, causing her to fling a knife a little closer to his head than Stephen would have wanted as the sorcerer chuckled slightly, though no one could tell out of amusement or nervousness.

 

When the question, **What school does Peter Parker go to?** , only Tony, Rhodey, and Strange got it right, making the three very smug as Peter stared in disappointment at Natasha, who refused to look at the boy.

 

Now, _Watch_ was the top of the board, followed by _All in this Together_  and _Heart Night_ , leaving _Dog_ and _Magic!_ at the bottom two.

 

**Who left their opponent stuck in Siberia with no way to return after lying to the other about something personally important to them and then attacking them to near death?**

 

Holy _shit._ Tony’s jaw dropped as the timer chimed on, everyone’s heads swiveling to look at the Captain America, who stared at the screen in stunned silence. Two answers popped up.

 

 **Steve** , and **Tony**.

 

The timer started, from 60. No one answered as they continued to stare at Steve.

Steve bit his lip, chewing it as he started to shake his leg, debating.

 

The timer counted down.

 

Five.

 

Four.

 

Three.

 

_One answered._

 

Two.

 

_Two answered._

 

One.

 

Out of the fifteen people that were playing the game, two people answered correctly, their game screens glowing a sickly green.

 

Bucky stared blankly at the screen, the green screen reflecting against his face and metal arm, his face stony and impassive, but if anyone could look closer—when half the room is composed of spies and the rest of enhanced—they could see his chest shake as he breathed out quiet, but shaky breaths. 

 

Tony, on the other hand, looked at Peter with tired eyes, standing up and moving away from the green screen that glowed almost as brightly as his arc reactor did that day, slowly hugging the boy as Peter froze at the contact, his eyes still staring at Steve, who had a red screen. The man did not move away from his intern, his hug slowly growing tighter as time ticked away.

 

Peter’s glare, Steve realized, was something he did not enjoy. It was like being dipped in nitrogen, worse than when he had been frozen in the crash.

The projector showed the correct answer, the correct choice checked, the cheery music still playing, like nothing wrong had happened. And finally, Steve had no safety net that surrounded him and, he felt as if he, _himself,_ had been dipped in the ice and kept on nothing but a tightrope to keep steady on.

 

And then Peter spoke, and the feeling became twelve times worse.

 

“Why didn’t you answer the question, _Captain?_ ”

 

* * *

 

That night, Steve sat silently as one could, the resonating question stuck in his heart,  _who_ was Peter Parker, and how did he _know?_ Steve could never see Tony spilling his heart out to some random child, but Peter was obviously special in some way to Tony, so there had to be  _something_ unique about the boy. 

 _Unless..._ Steve's mind wandered to the flings that Tony had previously had during his years as a playboy, and Peter was obviously young enough to be from around the time Tony was still a playboy which potentially meant- 

 

 _Holy shit._ Peter was Tony's biological son? It was the only explanation Steve could come up with, to Tony's random acts of affection to the hug they had on the battlefield.

 

And Tony had kept this a secret from Steve.

 

He hadn't even  _mentioned_ Peter once to Tony.

 

The man stood up immediately, dead set on confronting the man on hiding this from him. They were _teammates_. Tony should have trusted him with this information, instead of on lying about another one of his creations.

He quickly made his way to the only room that still had its lights on in the castle—Shuri's lab, who the owner had lent it to a certain genius playboy philanthropist—and stomped his way into the room, only to be shot back by something that stuck his leg onto the wall.

He hadn't even had enough time to react, recovering from his shock and trying to tug his leg away from the wall, only to realize that the substance keeping his leg stuck were webs. Steve slowly lifted his head, looking at the boy who was on the ceiling and Tony, who was staring at Steve in stunned silence.

"Oh shit." A quiet curse came from Spider-Man, who dropped from the ceiling and walked over to Tony backward, while still looking at the Captain.

Steve stared at Tony, who was silent as a Stark could be, meaning that his hands were fiddling with a random contraption he had made as he became more and more nervous, and back at the boy wearing two gauntlet-like attachments that had just stuck his leg against the wall. "Are you _kidding_ me, Tony? He's what, 15? I thought he was just your son-" The duo coughed in surprise at the same time. "-Isn't he too young-"

Peter cleared his throat, recovering. "If you're going to talk about someone, talk directly to them. It's rude."

Steve sighed, turning his body as well as he could to face the boy. "What I mean is, aren't you a little too young to be an Avenger?"

"Aren't you a little too old to be alive?" Peter retorted immediately.

It was completely silent.

Tony dropped the little metal toy in surprise, his mouth wide open, staring at Peter in stunned silence. The only other sound was the sound of metal hitting the floor and then again, silence.

The awe of it all, the fact that basically, a _child_ retorted the most ridiculous and offending sentence to the literal patriotic stripper of the actual United States of America and stood strong and did _not_ step down, was preposterous and apparently, completely possible.

 

Seconds passed.

 

Ten seconds.

 

Someone started laughing near the door, and the silence is broken. Steve spun quickly, making himself fall over, his leg somehow  _still_ stuck to the wall and looks at the person who's laughing.

In fact, there are eleven people who were at the door, giggling and some leaning against each other as they gave out belly laughs. There was Bucky, holding himself up against the wall and Shuri, who clutched her stomach in joyous laughter as T'Challa smiled. Natasha leaned against the door calmly, nothing but a small smirk lining her face.

Steve looked in desperation, his eyes scanning the smiling and smirking faces of Bruce, Rhodey, Clint, Scott, Carol, even Wanda, who was laughing as she leaning against Sam, whose arms were propped up as he tried to hold his body up from collapsing onto the floor.

"This is the part where you say 'Et Tu, Sam,' Cappuccino."

Steve rolled on the floor, turning to look at Peter upside-down from his fallen position, his eyes narrowed at the boy still. "Cap- Cappuccino?"

Peter scoffed a bit, "Well you're the Captain, and there are frozen cappuccinos, thought you'd be- You know," he indicated to all of Steve, "frozen and a technical... Cap." 

Tony finally started to laugh, his shoulders shaking as his head ducked down, soft choked laughs. "Oh, Cappuccino. I've thought of Capsicle, Frozone, but Cappuccino- That's beautiful."

Steve let out a scoff.

"Are you- Are you all just going to watch me on the ground?" 

Natasha gave a quiet 'mhm'.

Her focus was more on Tony's trembling shoulders as he leaned against Peter, who stood straighter as Tony leaned against him, still laughing joyously at the expense of his ex-co leader. It had been such a long time since Tony Stark had an actual laugh, she realized.

The night ended like that, sweet and filled with the laughter of the occupants of the Compound and the sheepishly confident aura of a certain intern.

 

Life was good. 

 

And hopefully, it would stay that way.

 

* * *

 

Of course, it did.

 

The next month, Virginia Potts had her name changed to Virginia Stark.

 

* * *

 

  
The next year, Peter became an older brother to the next generations of Starks.

 

* * *

 

The next decade, Tony Stark declared his three children to be his successors: Harley Keener, Peter Parker, and Morgan Stark.

 

* * *

 

And all was good.

**Author's Note:**

> So... There's a bit of angst in the middle. It sort of just worked its way in there, whoops. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> Took a break from killing everyone for once. I'm sure everyone's happy about that. Yeah, I'm a Pro-Tony. Man's went through enough, and Steve deserved _all_ the shit he got in this fic.
> 
> Fun Facts:  
> -I am pro-tony if you haven't figured it out already  
> -Tony's kahoot nickname is called _Heart Night_ because his heart was the one that got damaged like Rhodey's legs. Also, Day and Night  
> -Wanda is _Magic!_ because that was the first thing Peter said to Wanda when they first met  
> -Bucky's nickname is _Hercules_ because in Greek Mythology, Hercules defeats the Hydra  
> -Shuri is named _Dog_ because T'Challa chose _Cat_ as his name  
> - _All in this Together_ is Steve's nickname because he abandoned Tony and also High School Musical  
> -Natasha missed the school question because she clicked 'Bronx School of Science' instead, making Peter extremely disappointed  
> -The only reason Strange was first is because he was the only one who answered the question correctly to 'What is the Sorcerer Supreme's made up name? (the answer was Dr. Strange, as a kudos to the first time they met)  
> -Steve doesn't answer because he feels guilty and refuses to acknowledge it, but Bucky and Tony have accepted it  
> -both remarks from Peter come from my own conversations (Too old to be alive is from when my friends were calling me a baby for being younger than people beneath my grade, and Cappuccino is because I was making coffee puns)  
> -I originally wanted to end the story with some sort of tragedy but I realized all my previous works for a while had been about death


End file.
